What exactly are my thoughts and feels about this age of mine? Well, I feel as though everyone expects and assumes that you’re matured enough, about life, about choices, about decisions (big or small). Like you really need to be independent enough, to rely on yourself on everything. Scary, right?
That’s why I’m still hanging on to 25 because I still feel like one. When I was around 18 or 19 I wanted to be an adult already, you know like I envision myself earning a degree already, passing the board exam, working abroad and paying back to my parents kind of thinking. And then I later realised that I’m already in that position and the big question there is am I happy? Partly yes and partly no. I can sum up my life right now as one, complete paradox. Everything’s contradicting but I consider this as positive, knowing change is involved. So it means I’m also emotionally growing (even though it’s not that obvious yet)
So even though 25 was gone, here’s my message to you:
I just can’t believe you’re gone. It’s a bittersweet year isn’t it? Despite the personal struggles I’ve encountered this year, 25, I’m still grateful for you. You taught me how to be tough but at the same time, to not always take life seriously. You reminded me that anything important to you is worth fighting for. You reminded me that the sudden burst of melancholy that I feel sometimes will lessen just with a cup of coffee. I know, there are days like you don’t want to wake up, but then again there are days that reminded you why you’re still fighting. Because you have a dream, you want your heart to be filled with nothing but sweet victories and self discoveries. My advice to you is this, never forget how much of a worthy person you are, even though sometimes you tend to forget or disregard it. You have to realize that life doesn’t stop there, that you have to continue discovering who you are and what inspires you. I’m happy that despite all the things that you’ve been through and the people who constantly hurts you, still, having a heart of gold is never an option for you. It becomes a part of you and that I think, is the purest bravery of all.
25, thank you for all the lesson learned and the friendship that had built.
And for you 26. I am excited to learn a lot of valuable lesson from you. I hope, I do hope, that you find yourself there and you will make more room for things that will contribute to your growth. I hope, you will have more courage to face this not-so-friendly world with a smile on your face because that’s what the meaning of life is. And lastly, I know life will throw you different sort of unfortunate and unexpected things that will make you bitter or disinterested about life, but I hope you wouldn’t turn to be one (I know you wouldn’t). Remember, when life seems to be unfair and it seems like the clouds will stay there for a while, you would be reminded how much you’re eager to reach your goals and it will not happen if you will dwell with things that makes you stubborn.
Always remain positive and hopeful, even though sometimes these two are the hardest to achieve. Try a little harder until that will become a part of you. Be like a wildflower, grow in all places, even in places you thought there’s no need to. Develop resilience towards life, just like how wildflowers grow even in chaotic places.
Try to be really happy, the truest one.