Mother’s love. 

When you open your Facebook today, you will be bombarded with people greeting their mother a ‘happy mother’s day’. I’m not complaining though because I love seeing posts about anything related to mothers (because obviously it is ‘Mother’s appreciation day’)

I actually love this time of the year because it’s a gentle reminder for me to always appreciate my very own superhero, my mom. No, my mama (na-a-awkwardan ako sa my mom, hihi masyadong sosyal)
Actually, it makes me really emotional when I talk about my mother. Who doesn’t, right? Someone who’s been there with you through all the phases of your lives will be enough reason to love them unconditionally. So here are little words of appreciation to a person who never stop working. (Btw, it’s Tagalog)

Ma,

Sapat ba ang mga salita para magpasalamat sa mga bagay-bagay na iyong ginawa? Mula pagkabata hanggang sa pagtanda, kasama kita. Sa mga araw ng kapighatian at kalungkutan, kasangga kita. Ikaw na yata ang forever kong kakampi sa iba’t ibang klase ng digmaan sa buhay na akin pang pagdaraanan. Alam mo bang namimiss na kita, mula sa simpleng bonding natin sa pagbili ng groceries hanggang sa pagluto mo ng napakasarap na kare-kare at relyenong bangus. Sa pagsabay mo sa’kin ‘pag kumakanta ng mga kanta ng Carpenters. Ang sayang makita kang masaya, sa totoo lang.

Sinong makakapantay sa’yo? Sa pagkalinga mo sa tuwing ako’y nagkakasakit, kahit malaki na ako’y andyan ka pa rin at nakaantabay.

Minsan nga, nakakalimutan kong nanay kita. Siguro dahil nasasabayan mo mga walang kwenta kong jokes at kalokohan at dahil doon hindi ka lang ina kundi matalik ko ding kaibigan.

Salamat ma, nasasabi ko sa’yo ano mang tumatakbo sa magulo kong isip at sa ‘di malamang dahilan, kumakalma ito at nagiging masaya ulit. Boses mo pa lang, musika na na nagpapagaan ng aking pakiramdam. Salamat, salamat sa taglay mong mahika – ang walang katumbas na pagmamahal.
Maraming bagay man ang magbago, maraming tao man ang dumating at umalis sa buhay ko, ikaw lang mananatiling forever ko. Habangbuhay akong magpapasalamat sa Diyos dahil ibinigay niya sakin ang walang katumbas na regalo – ikaw yun ma. Dahil sa’yo, nakaramdam ako ng masidhing pagmamahal. Asahan mo, hindi ko ‘to pagdadamot. Ibabahagi ko ‘to gaya ng turo mo. Mahal na mahal kita. ❤️

Nagmamahal,

Ang iyong Panganay at Weirdung Anak

…………

Perfect lyrics for Mother’s love:

When the world is unkind

And your dreams they need more time

I’ll be there for you

If the rules they keep breakin’

And the future is fadin’

I’ll be there for you

The rainbow will end in the palm of your hand

Don’t ever let it go

When the stars won’t shine anymore

I’ll be there.

🌱

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Home

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We always crave for the presence of home.

 
A cozy feeling of belonging to something. A constant longing for something that will always bring you peace and comfort. Something that is hard to find in this very loud world filled with people who seem to never stop talking and failed to stop and just really listen.

 
Throughout the years of living here on this not-so-easy world, I came to realized that home is not necessary a place. It’s actually a ‘feeling’, a constant yearning of beautiful things. A family that will always be there to love and care for you, a best friend who will still love you even if you’re sad and miserable, a song that will always reminds you of that one summer time in the car where you’re almost happy you can’t stop singing (that part where we sung it in chorus, together with my siblings), an all time favorite movie that never fails to give you every sort of emotions and always awakens the hopeless romantic in you. It’s easy to overlook these ‘feelings’ because they’re very much familiar but it is when you’re all alone at night that you can’t help but to appreciate those times.

That’s why today I want to associate ‘home’ to ‘live in the moment’ because I always failed to accomplish that part of my life. I think, when you’re more appreciative and thankful of what you have now in your life, sooner or later everything will just make perfect sense. As what the quote said, ‘just fill your life with good stuffs, one at a time’ and soon enough it will be full enough there will never be room for anything bad in your life.

Just can’t wait for that day when I already found what I’m looking for, that I will find my home but hey self, just try to slow down and just enjoy every moment you have right now because basically, you will also miss this someday.

You will get there someday. *Reminding myself again because of how forgetful I am*

I want to fall in love.


So as I’m scrolling on my Tumblr a while ago, I came across these beautiful phrases that very much explains my idea of falling in love. And here’s my take: 

This, this is exactly the right kind of falling in love. Sometimes, people will never ever understand the range of emotions that is happening inside your head and they would just assume things in their own kind of thinking. Often people say, you just gotta let down your walls, there’s no perfect kind of love, girl. But I know that all you want is a love that is so simple that you will not second guess the other person’s intention. Genuineness. Compassion. Passion. A love that appreciate the little things, the things oftentimes overlooks by humans. So, is that much of a thing? Love is never a complicated thing Jannin, the people makes love a complicated one. 

So here it is. 

I want to fall in love. 
When I say this, I mean it in the deepest and most intricate way possible. I am a romantic at heart. Since forever, I’ve watched romances and read love stories, and since forever, an intense yearning has burned in my heart.

I want to fall in love.

I cannot stand the way relationships work in society today. We text, we don’t even go on a date before you ask me out, and then you expect me to kiss you, and the expectations just keep growing. Where is the romance? Where is the love? I don’t want a mere relationship.

I want to fall in love.

What happened to long letters and Polaroid pictures; what happened to shyly peeking at one another through the shelves of an old bookstore? What happened to nervous laughter, to first dates where we start out full of anxiety and wind up sitting in the diner talking until closing time about the world and our dreams and everything in between? What happened to shy smiles and sweaty palms and holding hands and I’m not even that cold but you’re wrapping your jacket around my shoulders anyway? What happened to blushing confessions and sweet first kisses and taking things slow? What happened to falling in love?

I want to fall in love.

I do not want to dive head first into the sad excuse that society calls love today. I want you to spend time with me and talk with me for hours and respect me and tell me your dreams. I want you to throw pebbles at my window at 3AM because you know I’m awake and you miss me. I don’t want jewelry and new clothes; I want flowers you picked from the side of the road because they’re my favorite and as soon as you saw them, you just had to stop the car for them. I want a cute little stuffed animal you saw in the store and bought because koalas remind you of me and it was only a dollar and you just had to give it to me. I want cute little sticky notes placed in my books because you know I overwhelm myself and seeing them will make me relax and take a breath. I want to write you a million letters and take a million pictures of you and of us. I want to trace the lines of your hands with my fingertips like the map of our future until I know the paths by heart. I want to curl up late at night with only the light of the lamp and you next to me as we take turns reading aloud to one another and you fall asleep to the sound of my voice. I want the soft things, the sweet things, the gentle things, the little things. 

I want to fall in love.

And when I know all of the small things about you, and when I’ve begun to enjoy your company even more than my own, and when I cannot count the times we’ve laughed together on both hands, and when the constant sense of loneliness that plagues my heart begins to fade, and when I finally begin to truly trust you and try my hardest to open up to you, you’ll begin to understand what I mean when I say

That I want to fall in love.

…….

P.S.: Credits to the writer of this (on Tumblr) and so does the photo used in this post. 🌱

Matalik na Kaibigan

Sa aking matalik na kaibigan.

Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nagpapasalamat na nakilala ko ang isang taong tulad mo. Kasing puti ng porselena ang kutis mo at ganoon din naman kabusilak ang puso mo.

Alam kong ang landas na tinatahak natin ngayon ay hindi madali at maraming tao ang susubok ng ating katatagan sa mga bagay-bagay. Napakaraming pwedeng magpalungkot at magpahina ng ating marupok na puso ngunit eto ang napagtanto ko, na hinding-hindi tayo ihihintong magmahal at magparaya. Siguro ganun na talaga gawa ang puso natin. Kaya nagpapasalamat ako sapagkat iisa lang ang may gawa neto at ang Diyos ‘yon. Kaya eto ang payo ko sayo mahal kong kaibigan, ibigin mo ang sarili mo at pangalagaan. Mahal na mahal ka ng Diyos at pangalawa ang pamilya mo at ako. Alam kong napakacorny nito pero kung paraan ito para kahit paano ay maibsan ang kalungkutang nakapalupot sayo ngayon, pwes hayaan mong ipagpatuloy ko ito.

Alam ko, minsan ang ating iniisip ay mapanlinlang. Pwede ka nitong lunurin at paisiping hindi mo kakayanin. Pero alam ko din, na isa kang matapang na tagapagdigma ng isip at alam kong malalampasan mo ito ng buong puso, minsan kailangan mo lang maging positibo kahit napakahirap nitong gawin. Kaya hayaan mong alayan kita ng isa na namang corning tula. Sa totoo lang, hindi nga din ako sigurado kung ito nga ba’y maituturing na tula. Kaya eto na.

Sa paghahanap.

Sa paghahanap matatagpuan ang iyong inaasam. ‘Sing lalim man ito ng banging hindi mahagip at mawari, ngunit makakamtam kung my katangi-tanging pagmamay-ari.

Pusong busilak na handang gawin ang lahat makamtam lang ang nais. Hindi man materyal na bagay, sapagkat alam nating ito’y paghahabol lang sa hangin.

Ang makaramdam ng pagmamahal ang pinakamasayang tunguhin at makamtam, sapagkat dito ika’y makakakuha ng lakas na pangsabak sa araw-araw na pasanin. Ngunit ito’y hindi maituturing na pasanin kung ito’y ginagawa ng buong puso at damdamin.

At dito’y nagkakaroon ng saysay, ng silbi ang buhay at masasabi mong kaysarap pa rin naman pala talagang mabuhay. At kahit man hindi mo alam lahat ng sagot sa marami mong tanong sa buhay, ito lang ang mahalaga. Araw-araw may natutunan ka at balang araw, hindi mo namamalayan, buo ka na. Buong-buo ka na.

Kaya ngayon pa lang, binabati na kita. Kaya mo yan. Kinaya mo yan at patuloy mong kinakaya yan. 🌱

P.S.: Miss na miss na kita lalo na ang mga kwentuhan nating sing weirdo ng mga bituin sa langit.

Saying goodbye, for now.



To you my dearest friend/roommate,

Life has a funny way of putting together people who will bring the best out of each other. And I’m beyond grateful and blessed to have found it in you (which is really unexpected) because I didn’t even have the slightest idea that we will just click eventually and the amazing part there is, we often think the same things! The moment I transferred room is the moment when I feel home ‘cause we would just talked about random, silly things about life and everything. Add to the fact that we love to sing along and jam at the top of our lungs. I will surely miss it! 

As what you’ve said in the past, we are pretty much a living paradox. Of you being small and me being tall. Extrovert vs. introvert. Outspoken and reserved. But somehow everything about that don’t matter anymore because the moment we shared pieces of each other’s lives is the moment I knew we could and possibly be close friends. I will miss our late night talks (literally) about everything, our fears and hopes for the future. But when I think about what the future is in store for you, of what awaits you in the other side of the world, it gives me a happy feeling because I know your dreams will finally will come to reality. And so…

Jenneigh, I wish you nothing but genuine happiness in life. I know, it will not always achievable because we are just humans, our emotions shift from happiness to anger to frustation to being happy again. But I know that when lows will come, all we could rely on is that Big Guy up there who will always reminds us that everything we are fighting for is surely worth it. And we know that when we always pray and choose the things which are according to His will, we can never go wrong. And I know you’re in good hands with someone who is really close to Him so all I wish and pray is for your relationship to last a lifetime. 

 And. 
I adore your braveness and strong personality and I wish to imitate that beautiful quality of yours someday. You are not afraid to always speak what’s on your mind, it is as if Facebook is always there to remind you. Kidding aside! But seriously, you make everyone around you safe and sound with just the presence of you and you make sure that the people who are important to you will never got take advantage for. Everyone would really like to be your friend because contrary to popular belief, you have a heart of gold. Seriously, you do have. And I’m so thankful for the genuine friendship that we both shared, the jokes and the literally everyday laughing over the little things. It’s so rare to find friendship who will get you and I’m glad I did found it in you.

I’m a little bit sad of you going home but at the same time super duper happy that you will reunite again with your loved ones. I know, the road on the way to success and happiness will not be easy, but I am pretty sure that you will achieve and surpass it all. Of course, with the right attitude and mindset, which you already possess. I’m beyond grateful to have met you and you’re one of the reason why KSA is not really a sad place, because having you and Nang Zan makes the homesick go away. 

To my ka-jamming, my artsy and creative friend, loudest but super duper kindest friend (di masyadong halata, haha char), smartest, one of the most sensitive and observant person I’ve ever known and the most loving. Sayanora. 

So long my friend. ‘Til we meet again. 

(Insert Moira’s Malaya song here)

Always,

Jannin

Early 2018 happenings and ramblings


Hello there! 

Yeah. Ahmmm. Ano kasi. Wala lang, wala naman talaga akong interesting na sasabihin. 

I should probably edit that ‘happenings’ because honestly speaking, there’s no extravagant/pop the confetti thing that had happened to me recently. 

Just want to give you an update on what’s going on in my life recently (as if there’s someone here who’s interested on hearing my stories) Anyway, enough with the self pity self, di mo bagay! 

So how do I start. Well, the thing that’s keeping me positive right now is the thought that I am almost 1 year in the place I’m currently working. Imagine, 1 year! I am still sinking it all in because I still feel like a newbie, minus the fact that I can cook now (congratulations self!) and that I’ve already adjusted with the people that I now considered as my new found family. Konting tiis na lang, 1 year to go, Jannin! 

And early this 2018, I just learned to let go of the things that hurts me. Like people in particular. Sometimes I find it really hard to let go of the people whom I made memories with but I also realized that I’m just torturing myself on believing that they also want me in their lives. They say if someone makes your life toxic and doesn’t anymore add meaning to your life is the time you need to decide to just let it go because better things and better people will just eventually come to your life. Let go and let God, ika nga. Less drama, less katoxican equals a more meaningful 2018! Let’s stick to that, self. 

And. Last night, I have a weird flash back of memories as I’m eating my own version of sinigang na tilapia. Yup, nostalgia again at it’s finest. I just remembered the time where we usually go to my grandparents house and the simple pleasure it brings when sinigang na tilapia is served along with smoked fish by my grandma (or in Filipino term, lola). That surely wins my heart, or let me rephrased that, it always wins my stomach! Lol. I just love how simple it is to live back then and the fact that we will go to my grandparents house also means we also get to play with my cousins endlessly throughout the day, that part, makes my heart the happiest. 

Speaking of which, I recently come across a local lead vocalist who posts online about his ‘definition of a simple life’. He posted that because some random netizen criticized him in saying that you can’t live a simple life if you can afford a place oftentimes can’t afford by a normal citizen of the country. But, the singer mentioned that each one of us has different definitions on how to live a simple life. He explained that ‘living a simple life is not about how much you make or where you live. It’s about choosing to live a life without dramas and complications, while enjoying the small and simple things that life has to offer.’ And I couldn’t agree more to that. Sometimes, we can afford things that will makes it’s way for us to have a luxurious life, but there’s just people who doesn’t get blinded on how material things can affect them. Knowing the simple things are the ones worth pursuing and appreciating. And, these are the types of people I want to surround myself with because they know more about life than the other people who thinks buying this and that will give you a satisfying life. I don’t know, I really find it shallow when someone base their happiness on material things, like, ‘hey, it will wither, it will be old someday.’ There’s more to life than that like, love, honesty, loyalty, generousity, hope and faith. Quality again than quantity. 

And again, these whole thing is just nothing but complete randomness. I just jotted down things that’s currently on my mind right now that I just want to share ‘cause I miss blogging. 

So hanggang dito na lang, paalam! (Goku’s voice, hahaha) 

The Light that Never Fades


Sometimes it may seem dull

That you can’t find your light

Your shining star

But when you look from above

Who made the stars

The heavens, the constellations 

You will see His light

Sparkling so bright.

Sometimes you feel lost

That all you could think of is your loss

But when you close your eyes

And speaks to Him with all your soul

You will find comfort you long

Which makes you feel grand and humble.

That’s the time

When you wouldn’t feel all alone

Cause He alone is enough

To supplement your thirsty soul.

….

– Isaiah 41:10