‘Pag Nakilala Kita

Sana ‘pag nakilala kita,

Kilala ko na sarili ko

Alam ko na kung ano ang gusto ko

Para sigurado na ko sa’yo.

Sana pag nakilala kita,

Mas maging pasensyuso ka pa sana

Sapagkat napakahirap

Pakitunguhan ang isang tulad ko.

Sana pag nakilala kita,

Maintindahan mo sanang duguan tong pusong to,

Alam kong nakakatawa ito,

Sapagkat ‘di pa ako nakaranas masaktan ng todo todo.

Pero sana maintindihan mo pa rin ako.

Sana ‘pag nakilala kita,

Malaman mong handang handa na ko

Mahalin ang tulad mo

At maging parte ng makulay mong mundo.

… Pag nakilala kita,

Alam kong hindi na puro ‘ako’,

Kaya kahit hindi man ganun kakulay ang mundo mo,

Gaya ng inaasahan ko,

Hayaan mong tanggapin ko itong lahat

Tulad ng pagtanggap mo sakin ng buong-buo.
– Jannin. 🌿

Advertisements

I Will Write

I will write only beautiful things
I will write anything that inspires me,
I will write a life I always want to be,
I will write with the eagerness that everything will be alright
I will write in such a way everyone around me will inspire
I will write with all my heart
I will write and wash away all the pain in my heart,
I will write things that makes me feel alive
I will write that there will never be room for regret in my heart
I will write and fill my life with beautiful symphony and melody

I will write until there’s no more space for anything bad in my heart.

Everyone has ‘baggage’

Growing old, understanding human nature and behaviours. I’ve come to the realization that everyone experienced this. Come to think of it, everyday we are figuring ourselves, we are losing ourselves sometimes because as we all know, life is pretty much not perfect. We will experienced failures, disappointments, discouragement that we start to develop these different sort of ‘baggage’. Life is indeed a ‘Great, Extraordinary Unknown.’

Baggage.

It will not always be the same but everyone has that. Every person became who they are right now because of the things they’ve experienced before and I think it is one of the greatest wonders of being human. You can’t really grasp the intentions and what’s inside the heart and mind that’s why sometimes a person judge another person base on how he/she perceive him/her.

And the good thing there is, we can always be kind, we can always be gentle with people. There are those who really are strong in nature that we thought, this person is really tough, but deep inside we didn’t know that he/she is already hurting. We didn’t know what the person is going through. Someone is suffering from depression, we may not know it. Someone had just lost a loved one, we may not know it. Someone experienced their first heartbreak, we may not know it. Someone may think they’ve been taken for granted and feel unloved, we may not know it.

So it’s not that hard to show kindness to people because everybody deserves to be treated the way they would feel loved. The way they should really be treated. When we realized that each one of us has ‘baggage’ and assume that all of us grows in different ways, in that little way, we put something beautiful in the world. Not only we make someone feel better, we also help ourselves to be more compassionate, more loving and the byproduct? We ourselves become the better person.

And then we grow. Then we are able to face difficult and unpredictable storms in life. We become resilient. We beautify the world.

Isn’t it beautiful? Kindness and understanding goes a long way. So never underestimate it. 🙂

What If

What if someday, we will live the way we want our lives to be? What if we’ll find the rare kind of love, that we will stop with the idea that we are not good enough? What if what we’re really searching for so long will finally finds its way to us that we stop learning about ourselves because we already knew who we really are?

These are some of the questions that mostly made it’s way to my top 10 mind blowing, lack of sleep, over thinking questions about my favorite subject, life. Do you have those moments where you’re just immense with your own thoughts that you lost tract of time? That you are both scared and excited about how the future will turn out. If ever you’ll be happy living your life or you will never stop searching for that something, if ever you’ll be happy even if you did not find that something you’re searching for your whole life. I hope I make sense, even though I’m not.

I know I’m feeling too much again, like I always do. That’s why I need to wrote it down to reassure myself that what I felt is normal and there’s nothing to be worried about. You know what I realized? That there are so many beautiful possibilities for every person living here on earth. There are endless possibilities to be happy, to be that somebody you always pray to be. And you know what I realized again? That you can achieve it all, all that little and not so little dreams you have in your heart. There’s just 100s and perhaps thousands possibilities that are available for you. It may not all be easy. And who says beautiful things will just come out there all of sudden? They all takes time. True love. Genuine happiness. And you just never stop thinking about them because someday, they would just come to you. Faith, hope, love. They’re your armor. And yes, you just have to believe it that someday, you will, eventually.

Things I’m excited about (this is not actually related to this post):

– John Green’s new book Turtle’s All The Way Down (why do I have a feeling that it is more beautiful than TFiOS?)

– I’m slowly learning how to play ukulele (or maybe I feel I am even though I’m not really) Anways, I’m happy so that’s what matters.

– I will find more books to read like Chicken Soup and that of Pierre. All about poetry. Talk about collection.

– I wanna buy dslr and polaroid. Not sure if this will turn to reality now, but definitely pretty soon. Exciting!

This is all for now. Time to rest my panda eyes. 🙂

Search

We have to continue search and search and search… Until we’ll find what we are looking for. – A conversation with Best Friend

Have you ever wonder what it’s like to be lost? I kinda grasp that idea right now. But I like the idea of that quote above, that if we continue to search for the ‘what’ in our lives, eventually we’ll come across what we are looking for. And that life will become more meaningful and that we have thousand, perhaps a million reasons why we woke up each morning. Not the waking up, fixing the bed and do morning routine kind of thing, but the really essence of waking up. That there’s purpose, there’s a positive force inside you telling, ‘it’s a wonderful and miraculous day to be alive. Make every second of it worth it!’

And she believes that someday she would just eventually find it and she will finally, finally, completely, utterly and genuinely happy that she forgot that she is once a sad story.

Unconventional

She has her books

And everything that blooms

She loves music

Only few can figure out

She has an undeniable sadness

And unconventional madness

But she is art herself

She loves anything

Others think may regard as nothing

So she created her own world

Where everything there is hopeful

It’s not a place nor a home

It’s unconventional thoughts

Perhaps 100s or thousand of those

And she want to turn it

To something that glows

She doesn’t know how and when

But all she knows is she will

Someday

Even if she is unconventional

In other words, a weird being.

Genuinely happy

So today’s my day off and I got to spend it so much with my workmates. I’m happy that we enjoyed each other’s company already and it’s safe to say that we are comfortable being goofy and weird together. Which is really a good thing. We ate so much food and then take weird selfies and just laugh and laugh until our stomach hurts. I miss those kinds of laughs because they’re so authentic and natural that being weird is not a bad thing, that’s why I’m thankful that I got to laugh again, the truest one. 

I’m happy in this present moment knowing that I’ve already adjusted in the place where I am currently working. Though there are restrictions but still, happiness is just a state of mind. And I choose to be positive and hopeful each day (though it’s not always that easy). I actually can’t believe that I’ll survive this whole journey because I’m such an emotional person and being away from home is really a huge struggle for me. I remembered crying and crying (I think it’s the worst cry I had in my life) at the van with my parents, knowing I will not get to see them for two years. My mother just hold my hand while my father is telling me what to expect while working abroad (though I know deep inside he really does want to console me, knowing he also worked on the place I’ll be going). And now after 5 and a half months, I’m here, happy, learning a new language, I have a job, I get to support my family financially,  I’ve met a lot of beautiful souls. I think I am more than blessed knowing that I have these things. I will be bringing these wonderful experiences when I am coming home, which will just happen. So there’s no need to worry. 

I am also happy that one of my closest friend is getting married. Knowing she waited patiently for her definition of true love. I just can’t contain my happiness because she’d been praying this throughout the years and finally, she already found hers. I’m just sad that I can’t attend her wedding but I’m happy that she said to me, “I hope you’re here on my wedding (she wants me to be one of her bridesmaids) because you’re so close to my heart.” Which melts my heart away. Then memories just flashback, the food trips, her being my partner always in ministry, the sleepovers, the movie marathons, and the conversations.  And then I remember all and I just felt nostalgic at that moment. A beautiful kind of nostalgia. I admit I overused that word already but I don’t know, for me as I get older, I always find myself looking back to all the memories that had been built in my mind. That’s where almost of my happiness came from actually.

So basically my next blog post is all about being ‘Nostalgic’. I’m excited because it is mostly associated with my childhood.  

Songs I’m playing while writing this: The Beatles’ In My Life and Passenger’s Beautiful Birds.

Thanks for patiently reading this not so important post. 😛