Coldplay’s Yellow

I first heard this song in someone’s car back in 2013 and it automatically became one of my many favorite songs.

I don’t know why this song is really nostalgic and somehow so close to my heart. Maybe I do know the answer why I love it so much but I’m just hesitate to admit that it’s actually because of a particular person.

Well, the story behind that is yes, we both heard it playing in the radio and I heard history of our conversation like, ‘The song is so beautiful, right?’ And all I could reply is, ‘yes it is indeed beautiful’. Yeah. That’s still echoes inside of me. It’s weird that I find that moment magical and nostalgic at the same time but maybe because we both shared the instant love for that beautiful song.

It had been years since I saw him and I’m actually afraid of seeing him again because I’m afraid that my feelings I have for him will go back. Which I don’t want to feel again, not because he’s not worth it (he’s such a good person) but because circumstances won’t permit us. The reason why I’m writing this because I remembered the feeling of it, I remembered having someone close to being a ‘best friend’. It’s actually my dream to have a guy best friend and I considered him one. Considered. Past tense. Well because I saw in him someone who cares so much and someone who’s so appreciative, so much like my real best friend. And he’s just a natural sensitive and a really kind hearted soul (which make him my kind of an ideal guy). Not to mention that he’s such a gentleman and a good, good listener. And you know that someone who can you just share all your secrets with, comfortably.  Someone you could be with on long drives with nostalgic music. He’s like that.

It’s so rare to find someone who loves the feeling of sipping coffee while listening to the sound of the rain. Rare to find a guy who appreciate songs like, ‘Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know’, ‘Dust in the Wind’ and ‘All the Love in the World’. Rare to find someone who appreciates Meteor Garden and Boys over Flowers. It’s rare to find someone who is happy just eating Spaghetti.

And it’s rare for me to feel that way over someone and it does make me think that he became a special part of me. That’s also the reason why I memorized all the little details about him. He’s so close to being my home. My kind of a ‘nostalgia’ guy. My kind of person.

I’m happy I’ve met you and you may never know my feelings I have for you before but at least it made me feel something. I’ll never forget you and how you made me feel.  And it will be difficult for me to find someone like you, because it will never be you.

P.S.: This is my first time confessing about this kind of stuffs and it actually feels good telling this. And you can imagine me playing all over the song ‘Yellow’ while writing this post. What a feeling.

And you could really tell how someone became a special part of you because when you heard a particular song, your brain automatically remembered and tells you, ‘oh, it’s him, right?’. And all you can say is, ‘yes’.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, in everything that you do. 

Daydreaming 

I can hear

The sound of your laugh

The way you make me feel so right

That I want to hug you tight

I can feel

The love that you give

Everytime I am unable to breath

And you keep me in your grip

I can see

The way your eyes

Lighten up

Over something that gives you life

I can smell

The fragrance you’ll put in

That will remind me

That I am already home

I can hear

The nostalgic and old songs

That will soon be ours

That we will both fall in love with

I can sense

Your vulnerability

Behind your manly feautures

That I can see the whole picture

I can sense again

That pretty soon

We’ll meet

And everything will be infinite

You see

This girl here

Is nothing but a hopeless romantic

And how she hate and love it 

And in this crucial times

I hope you sense that

There’s just one here

Waiting to be seen 

And I will allow

This imagination to last

Until the day

I will say my first hi, not goodbye 
P.S.: I miss you already even though I didn’t met you, yet. 

The Little Prince: Personal realizations

So I’ve finished reading this wonder book. It’s so surprising that it’s so simple but complex at the same time. When I say complex I mean it does really gives so much realizations in life, which I do think every human (especially we grown ups) should really read and reflect afterwards. So here are some of the quotations and phrases that stole my heart away (in a good and positive way)

Grown-ups love figures… When you tell them you’ve made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? ” Instead they demand “How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? ” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.”

This is one of the things I really appreciate from the book because I am totally agree with what the author quoted. It sad to know that most of the people nowadays, grown ups to be specific, tend to focus more on ‘figures’, or in other words, material things which usually doesn’t give so much satisfaction and lasting happiness. I don’t know how an author who’s generation is far from me can really described how I really feel with this generation that we live in now. There’s so much substance with questions like, ‘does he collect butterflies?’, it’s so comforting that someone like him talk about deep truths in life which oftentimes neglected, forgotten, abandoned. I know it’s weird but I feel special when someone sincerely ask me questions like that, like it does signifies that someone is just as interested in life as same as me. That you could see the genuineness, the pureness of what friendship can bring. That it is not how many followers you have on Instagram or how famous you’re on Facebook, how many likes your profile picture has. It’s sad that it’s what happens today, that we rely much of our happiness on figures, we tend to post pictures like ‘we ate at this fancy resto’, ‘I have a new G-shock’, ‘ a new car’ so on and so forth. Endless material things. Endless pursuit of nothingness, a run after the wind. Seldom you will see photos with caption like, ‘I enjoyed the food as much I enjoyed talking with these bunch of people’, ‘Spontaneous talks is what I always crave for’. Quality. Yes, that’s what lacking and I want to break that and be someone who appreciates, who listens, who notices.

But he would always answer, “That’s a hat.” Then I wouldn’t talk about boa constrictors or jungles or stars. I would put myself on his level and talk about bridge and golf and politics and neckties. And my grown-up was glad to know such a reasonable person.

I am again sad with this awakening truth, that sometimes we tend to act like a really serious grown up for someone for them to think like, ‘oh she’s matured, she has substance.’ I, in my part, does this most of the time but everytime I talk to a person, I always hope and pray at the back of mind things like, ‘I hope we would talk about how much we appreciate our mothers, our fathers’, ‘I hope we talked about that particular old song which makes our heart feel nostalgic and happy at the same time’. And this sentiments reminds me of my best friend, she’s the only one I can talk to about these sorts of things, you know like most of time we would just sit in the terrace at a starry night (yes we are so sentimental and weird) or in the bedroom for hours and talk about life, our chaos, music and anything sensible. I so love and miss those moments. And those things is my definition of luxury, which the brain is the number one thing actively used and also the figurative heart. And I think it sad when people can’t talked about that kind of thing or simply don’t want to because they’re so busy, or I might say preoccupied with a lot of other things. For me, deep conversations and perspective about life are the real luxury in the world because you can carry it wherever you go, you have it in your heart and mind that no can stole in from you, unless you want to share it withis others, willingly. And that I think is a beautiful thing.

It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.

I don’t know but this simple phrase really hit me. Maybe because when you’re naturally a sentimental and a ‘feels too much’ person, you can really relate with this. I know not all people will appreciate this but it’s always a mysterious place when you found yourself sad or depress. It’s like you have your own universe that only few people will understand the depths of emotions that is going through in your mind. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t that wonderful and mysterious? And then you appreciate these type of people who sees you behind those eyes, those smiles, because they know that there’s more to that, there’s more than meets the eye.

People where you live,” the little prince said, “grow five thousand roses in one garden… yet they don’t find what they’re looking for.

Lack of appreciation and contentment. These are the things I want to associate with the phrase. I think humans in general naturally want to seek more of what they already have. Like when they have this new gadget, they would then add a follow up, ‘Oh this is the latest version, I actually want this more than what I’ve bought already’, ‘I’ve seen it use by a celebrity, I wanna buy it too’. I also have this tendencies and I want to change that because I don’t want to be everybody else who thinks brands and things are so much of a big deal. I want to appreciate the ‘roses’ that has already in me and just cultivate a grateful attitude, in everything, big or small

And, if you should come upon this spot, please do not hurry on. Wait for a time, exactly under the star. Then, if a little man appears who laughs, who has golden hair and who refuses to answer questions, you will know who he is. If this should happen, please comfort me. Send me word that he has come back.

So these beautiful lines concluded the whole story. And this is probably the best part of the book. Actually there are so many quotable and remarkable lines that are so moving but these particular phrases are so close and relatable to me. Well because when we grow up, we tend to forget that we once had been a child. Carefree, happy, not afraid to ask questions and state facts. We are consume by the idea that others may judge or misinterpret us, now that we are grown ups. Well, I just want to remind myself that I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, the inner child in you. That child who just go along play and observe things, that child who enjoy the simplest of things, that child who has rich memories of childhood. Because being a grown up is so crucial and complicated that sometimes we tend to be content with just a ‘okay’ kind of life. We loose track of time, we create and repeat stubborn routines then ending up not loving our own life. We became unknown mask of our own that we forget how to really live.

So please don’t let the negativity and dullness of present days consume you into something you’re not, that you forget how happy you are before.

As we grow more and more each day, both physically and emotionally, may we never forget the ‘Little Prince’, which in the first place, is already present in us, inside of us. ‘Cause it will always remind us how precious, how worthy it is to live each day, knowing that we have so many things to discover, so many volcanoes to climb and conquer. Capabilities. Possibilities.

Grow


Grow, they would say

To where you are

To where you want to be

To a place you can be free.

Grow and go to the direction

Where your heart is safe

Where your heart is in her happy place

Where it may rest, where it can be her very best.

Grow, find something

Discover, not everything but anything

That will make the missing pieces

Eventually and gradually whole, finally. 

Grow, make things happen

Don’t just sit there

And think what will happen next

That can someday be your version of happiness.


You see growing

Is not just a one day process

It’s a combination of beautiful and not so good things

That eventually will change your whole being.


Grow, I say once again

But please don’t forget the inner child in you 

That someday you’ll wake up,

Not appreciating even the morning dew.


Grow, that you may learn

To love yourself

To prioritize your goals

Which will eventually bring you endless joy.

My Nostalgic Playlist

So basically, this post is all about my favorite songs. Currently. I don’t know but being a musically inclined individual, I find it hard to answer when someone ask me my favorite song, maybe because I have so many favorite songs that I can’t think of just one.

But let me just state here how much of a music enthusiast I am. Of how much I appreciate it.

I don’t where it all started but I know as a child I appreciate music as much as I appreciate it now.  From the really cheesy and corny ‘Remember Me by Renz Berano’ my mother used to play over a cassette player, which came from my father who work overseas at that time. I somehow remembered the lyrics and it does make sense now that I still remember it and forever will be I guess.

And there’s Bread. It’s literally a food for the soul because of it’s simple but nostalgic melody. I so love the classic intro guitar of every Bread’s masterpiece. Remembering how everyday my father used to play it makes me want to invent time machine (I know it’s everyone’s dream to have one and impossible to have) just so I can go back to that simple but happiest time. Diary. Guitar Man. If. Make it With You. Everything I Own (this is my personal and all time favorite of all Bread’s songs) And all these songs are perfect for long drives.

And there’s also The Carpenters. A personal favorite of my mother. Sometimes we just sang it to the top of our lungs and I just love those random moments. Top of the World (Mama’s favorite, lol). You (favvvvv). Won’t Last a Day Without You. I just remembered how much we mimicked Karen Carpenter’s unique voice and ending up laughing because of how hilarious it sounds. I miss those moments, they’re so simple and random which makes it all special and worth remembering.

And there’s Air Supply. The Beatles! Michael Jackson. David Pomeranz. To boybands, Backstreetboys, MLTR, Boyzone, A1, M2M, Moffats, Westlife.

And my love for OPM. MYMP. Eraserheads. Rivermaya. Callalily. Hale.

And of course my love for Modern Nostalgic Princes (yup, I made that name up) Ed Sheeran, Passenger, John Mayer and Coldplay. I think I don’t need to explain how much I love them because there music explains it all. And I already said how much I adore Coldplay from my old post (who cares right? Lol okay I write too much)

You see I love songs that makes me feel nostalgic, makes me think of something positive, makes me genuinely happy, makes me feel relax. And sometimes it may be weird or it may be sad but for me it’s all worth the while *rhyming*. That last sentence doesn’t make sense I know. But seriously, you can’t see in my list of songs below that of Selena or Drake or Justin Bieber or Chainsmokers because frankly speaking they lack sincerity and genuineness in lyrics, add to the point that they’re upbeat and really pop. My choice of songs are mainly for me to inspire and to love life more. So here it is. I know no one cares if I like these type of songs but I’m just in the mood to share these quite familiar but more of not familiar kind of songs (I hope I make sense again)

Here’s my current nostalgic playlist:

  • Bear’s Den – Above the Clouds of Pompeii
  • Dido – Quiet Times
  • Philip Larue – I’ll Be Your Home
  • Coldplay – Everglow
  • Coldplay – A Message
  • Coldplay – Sparks
  • Coldplay – Miracles
  • Isaiah – It’s Gotta Be You
  • Josh Ritter – Come and Find Me
  • John Mayer – Free Fallin’
  • John Mayer – You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me
  • Ed Sheeran – Tenerife Sea
  • Ed Sheeran – Supermarket Flowers
  • Lasse Lindh – Hush
  • Jason Mraz – Beautiful Mess
  • Passenger – Beautiful Birds
  • Tracy Chapman – Fast Car
  • Keane – Somewhere Only We Know

Lost

Lost in transition
Lost in words
Lost in everything
And in between.

It didn’t ocurred to me
That Saturday is different from Tuesday
For everyday living
Is the same as yesterday.

Can I just go back to where I am
Before consciousness have found me
Childhood that I am always fond of
Memories of happiness is all I can think of.

Watching over the car’s window
I want to put my hands carefree
And feel the breeze
And oh how life past through me.

I don’t know what I want
Wondering where I would go
Will I find my place?
My happy home?

Will I find you?
And would you feel the things that I feel?
And if I did found you
Can I consider you a home?

But I hope the answer to that
Is nothing but a sure ‘yes’
Cause there’s so much uncertainties
In this world full of adversities.