To my 21st self. Suddenly, I miss you. When did things go wrong? All the enthusiasm about life suddenly fades away. Honestly speaking, I want to go back to you, where everything felt like a dream. Those were the times where you felt like you can achieve everything, that everything make perfect sense. You know what? My goal this past few months is to slowly come back to you, not the childishness that accompanies it, but the enthusiasm and passion in achieving something great, no not great but wonderful. I know those two words are synonymous but I feel like wonderful is more humble than great. Okay, enough with the weirdness!
Sometimes I felt like fading but I also realized something today. That even though I have personal struggles (who doesn’t, right?) I am still blessed. I just recently discovered that someone I know is battling from chronic kidney disease, actually to be specific it’s already end stage renal disease (ESRD) which means he needs dialysis for the rest of his life or his last option will be to undergo kidney transplant. But of course, the latter is costly and not to mention very risky. It’s sad to know that he is experiencing it right now, like mapapaisip ka talaga minsan na, of all people ba’t siya pa? It’s one of life’s mystery actually, that bad things sometimes happens to good people. He is someone I know who has strong faith to Jehovah but on the brighter side of that, his faith will be even more stronger because I know he will continue to rely all his life to Him. 101%. Not to mention the people whom he will inspire more (including me) because of how much love he has for Jehovah, despite of course of the health issues that accompanies life.
It also saddens me that someone has to be ill so that you will appreciate what life can offer you today. Yes, I am very much guilty with this. Right now, I feel like a very selfish person for feeling these different sorts of emotions, not knowing that someone is in much pain than I am. Physically and emotionally. Actually millions of people are suffering today and I hope the touching hands of Jehovah will reach every soul and heal them. I can somehow feel their pain.
And I know all I can do right now (aside from feeling sorry) is to pray for that person and to just make the most of the time I have here in the world and just make it as wonderful as I imagine it to be. No regrets. Also, making it useful by helping and inspiring other people the best way that I can.
It’s inevitable, all the things that are happening in our lives and will happen in the future but it is also a reminder for us to keep on striving, to keep on living a purposeful life because simply for the reason that someone right now just badly need to live and breathe.