Books and Someone

Books always gives me comfort and satisfaction whenever I feel sad or depressed, or anything that I feel. And sometimes, I prefer the company of books than humans, which introverts can highly relate to.

Well actually we are all books, waiting to be read, waiting to be appreciated. And then we grow up, we experienced things, we create things, we learned things that adds up to our own story, to our book. And then our figurative heart starts to appreciate another human being, another book, and then we imagine ourselves also soaking into that book.   That’s also when we learned that we just need someone who will get us, who will understand us. We really don’t want to be that ‘best selling book’ everybody talks about but we just want to be seen and feel deeply by that one single person who will appreciate what we have to offer, who we really are.

So basically this post is all about linking books romantically (yes, I’m very much of a weirdo and I’m proud to be one, and why does I need to explain myself, lol) and I get this inspiration from a quote I posted on Instagram years ago. So here it goes:

Someday someone will read every pages of your very own book. Someday someone would pick you up on a bookstore and won’t stop reading your story. Even though you’re not like those beautifully made book but then, that someone would read your book description and would be curious, and ends up buying you, or I mean reading you. And he will understand, he will understand everything about you. He will not just fold pages that interest him the most but he will read every single pages of you, may it be good or bad. He’ll be like those passionate readers who is consume with a book that he carries it wherever he goes and loves to learn more about you. He will not be the others who thinks appearance matters, he’ll think that reading you is like reading The Little Prince, books that inspires him to be better and to see life in a different perspective. He’ll swim in the depths of your soul and actually swim with you, in other words, he will understand you in a deeper and different level. And you’ll be someone he’ll love reading all over and over again and will never get tired. Everytime he read about you, it’s feels the same way. So please never ever think that you’re not going to be someone’s book because someday, someone will understand you. The very essence of you.

A book someone will take good care of. For how long?

For forever.

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Beach: to connect and reconnect

Working away from home is hard and it’s even harder for me because I just miss the beach so much. Not only the foods that I always crave for, cheap but delicious pork barbeques, freshly cooked oysters, sweet squids filled with tomatoes, blue marlin sinigang and the ever delicious diwal soup. And then with some soft local songs with the ocean breeze caressing our well being, I just couldn’t ask for moments like that. I’m currently missing that now.

The beach has always been and forever will be a part of my weird life. Back when I was a child, I always felt ecstatic when my parents would say, ‘We’ll go the beach! Prepare your things.” Those magical words are enough to put us on a good mood for the rest of day and that also means putting ourselves on charcoal-like skins, which we don’t really care actually. That’s the perks of being a child because we don’t really care how we look afterwards but how we will enjoy ourselves, how we feel deep down inside. Walking and running barefoot on the sands, feeling the waves massaging our tiresome feet, seeing different kinds of shells and bringing it home, writing random names on the sand (and even childhood crush, yes very much guilty) Those little things sums up my idea of a perfect and simple beach life.

And then years comes by so fast and suddenly I realized I am no longer a child, that I am close enough of being an adult. Which make it a lot scary just thinking about it. Well that makes me appreciate the beach even more. Not that I go there to swim, I go there to think about many things in life. With my best friend. We usually talk about life, our future, our chaos, our fears, even our future with our soon to be lovers (which are all pure imagination) and anything and everything that no other human being can ignite those kind of conversations, wonderfully weird but also deep and sensible, only with my best friend.  I just love those moments, those random but content worthy kind of conversations will always be my thing. The beach had seen it all. My accomplishment. My triumphs. My sadness. My disappointments. And all the other good and not so good things that had happened to me and as well as that of my best friend. I’m just thankful to God for creating the beach, not only because it is perfect for an instagram worthy shot or a perfect cover photo for Facebook (though it is currently my cover photo, ooops) but because it will make you feel things, it will make you think things. Deeper than the sea itself. And I think there’s nothing more loveable than that.

 It makes you humble but also strong, passionate but soft, contented and full of hope, just like the endless flow of waves. Things I will not be tired thinking, especially right now that I am lying in bed, imagining that I can hear the sound of the waves even if I should be probably sleeping. But I’m just happy I am able to wrote what I feel inside.

I Dream of You if I Could Fall Asleep

I would pretend
That you exist

In some place

In some distance space


I will try to find you

On crowded places

And pretend to eat

But I’m actually looking for you


Wait for me,

Wait for me when I’m free

Wait for me when I could see

The things that ignites me 


Am I late, am I running late?

Are you already in some place

Where love is as real as you are to me? 

Hope is not true and I hope I can compliment you


I found a new song

Now my favorite 

The title is ‘If Only I’

And it says there ‘I dream of you if I could fall asleep’


I’m such an idealist

And one thing I like about it

Is I could think of all the things

I unapologetically like about you


Though I’ve never seen you

But my imagination is filled with my thoughts of you

Is that an acceptable reason

To love you even I didn’t met you yet?


How amazing our universe is

That we could someday meet

And we could share all the things

That made up our mind in the last forgotten years


Please be gentle, please be patient

In the world around you

Don’t forget to fall in love

Not only to people, but to things that makes you. 


Find your happiness

While I find mine

And someday let’s collide that

And makes it an undeniable euphoria

“This is only happening on my mind.” -If Only I, Jon McLaughlin

You Cling

You cling

For things you want. 

For things to be fine

As time want to tell you why. 

You cling, you keep

Things, people, memories

Of how beautiful it is

Savoring all of it

Because of the idea

That you’ll not experience it. 

So we seek

For beautiful things

Then when we meet new people

We would like them to think

That they should be like this,

Which is very selfish

Because is that love?

If you really think

That love should act in such a way

That is not coincide

With someone’s heart?   

Love, such a free spirit

Same as home

It should not be a place

But a feeling

A happy space. 

 

Daydreaming 

I can hear

The sound of your laugh

The way you make me feel so right

That I want to hug you tight

I can feel

The love that you give

Everytime I am unable to breath

And you keep me in your grip

I can see

The way your eyes

Lighten up

Over something that gives you life

I can smell

The fragrance you’ll put in

That will remind me

That I am already home

I can hear

The nostalgic and old songs

That will soon be ours

That we will both fall in love with

I can sense

Your vulnerability

Behind your manly feautures

That I can see the whole picture

I can sense again

That pretty soon

We’ll meet

And everything will be infinite

You see

This girl here

Is nothing but a hopeless romantic

And how she hate and love it 

And in this crucial times

I hope you sense that

There’s just one here

Waiting to be seen 

And I will allow

This imagination to last

Until the day

I will say my first hi, not goodbye 
P.S.: I miss you already even though I didn’t met you, yet. 

Sparks, 2/2

Strangers to each other. Soon to be lovers. A story of two people who met under the moonlight, not in Paris, but in some not so familiar but beautiful place. Oblivious to the world around them, obviously attracted to each other. It all started there, that undeniable spark.

‘Hi. It’s kinda awkward to ask, but you know where can I buy something that can make me happy?’ He’s too shy to ask but asked anyway.

‘Are you some kind of drunk?’ That’s the weirdest question she encountered so far that day.

‘I know it’s really weird but I just want some place where I can let my heart rest.’ He’s just tired, tired of everything.

‘Well I know a hospital nearby, I can drop you off.’ She said, sarcastically.

‘Oh, that’s harsh but thanks. But no hospital can mend a broken heart I guess.’

‘So you’re one of the million millenials who claims that there heart had broken by some girl?’

For someone who’s never been inlove, she’s like that and she’s just tired hearing the same sentiments of people about love and breaking all over again. She’s also tired, but not the kind of tired the guy infront of him is feeling in the moment. In some weird sense, she kind of feel the pain and loss of the guy that she sense something beautiful in him. Which makes it even weird because he doesn’t know this guy.

‘Maybe I’m a little bit disoriented but she is not just ‘some girl’. I love her. She loved me. With all our hearts. But I guess the problem there is I love a little harder than her that makes the love not worthy at all.’

‘You know, I don’t have much experience when it comes to love but I assure you, when you love someone, no matter how big or little your love for that person, as long as you did your outmost effort to show it to that person, it will always be worthy. Even if the love is not reciprocated in the end.’

‘Woah, that’s kind of comforting. Are you some kind of psychiatrist or counselor?’ He’s starting to like this girl, not because he’s broken, but he sense genuineness with her words. So comforting, so familiar.

‘I’m actually dreaming of being one but I guess I am more fit to be the psyche patient rather than being the doctor.’

They both smile. It started as awkward but they somehow find comfort and humor between the exchange of conversations. They seem comfortable with each other.

‘Hey, do you think it’s weird that we talked about topics like this without knowing each other? I’m Jay and you?’ Shake hands awkwardly.

‘I’m Keena, Kee for short.’

‘Beautiful name it is.’

‘Don’t rely much with the name, it’s just upfront.’

‘Yeah I have to agree. Like my name is really simple but when you get to know me, you would know that I am as awesome and cool as you thought me to be.’

‘Errh. Okay time to go, you’re wasting my time.’ These kind of conversations irritates her, most of the time.

He holds a grip of her arm that sends some shiver in her whole body, a spark. Poetically speaking.

‘Okay, okay. That was just a nonsense joke. I actually enjoy having conversations with you that I don’t know how to keep you entertain that’s why I attempt to made that up. Which didn’t work out anyway.
‘So what makes you alone in this night? You’re not suppose to be alone here. It’s dangerous for you.’ Sounds that he cares.

‘You know sometimes being alone gives me more peace and freedom. I can think more. I can be myself rather than with a bunch of people.’

‘Sounds interesting for me. I dont want to sound like I want to copy you but I also has the same perspective as yours.’

‘Yeah like people makes me lonely sometimes.’

‘Likewise. People are just naturally heart breakers.’

‘Basing from experience uh?’ She noticed the eyebags under his eyes now, that if it is for sale, it will cost a lot. She smile silently. But she also noticed his eyes, that they’re so captivating that she find herself staring unnoticeably at those. Even though physical attritubes doesn’t impress her at all.

‘Hmmm, I guess so. So tell me about your life. You know I can sense that you’re one of those people who just listens to people’s problems and don’t share yours.’

‘What will I tell? There’s nothing interesting in my life that’s why I love listening to other people struggles.’ She sensed that this guy has high sensitivity to life that makes her want to believe him.

‘Come on, I know there is. You can’t be forever a listener, you have to tell story. Your own story.’

Wow, this guy makes her feel that she knows her. In some odd way, she’s liking it. She’s about to speak when suddenly her cellphone rings. A message from her best friend:

‘WHERE ARE YOU? WE’RE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. YOUR PARENTS ARE WAITING HOME. PLEASE REPLY ASAP.

‘I’m sorry but I think I need to go home. It’s nice meeting and talking to you.’

‘Oh, jeez. But can I atleast get your number? Or Facebook?’

‘Keena Marquez.’ She smiles and she’s suddenly gone.

They both know that there’s something in there. They felt that spark and both of them hope that they would again feel that way, someday.

*Playing Coldplay’s Sparks*