The Light that Never Fades


Sometimes it may seem dull

That you can’t find your light

Your shining star

But when you look from above

Who made the stars

The heavens, the constellations 

You will see His light

Sparkling so bright.

Sometimes you feel lost

That all you could think of is your loss

But when you close your eyes

And speaks to Him with all your soul

You will find comfort you long

Which makes you feel grand and humble.

That’s the time

When you wouldn’t feel all alone

Cause He alone is enough

To supplement your thirsty soul.

….

– Isaiah 41:10 

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They deserved it. 


I hope every genuine person will meet someone as pure as their hearts. Why? Because they deserved it, they really deserved every little and not so little love in the world. They deserve happiness because they freely give it to everyone. 

Everything heals.

Every cells in our body are design to help us heal, for us to recover from whatever wound or pain we are experiencing right now and will be experiencing in the near future. The white blood cells, one of the most vital composition of blood, are like soldiers who are always on the go when infection or open wound happens. They’re called the first line of defense. Just a little bit of science, lol. Well, I just realized in that little chemistry how important we are to God because he’ll do whatever it takes for us to get away from whatever pain we are experiencing. And I still don’t get it up to now why people still blame God when something bad happens to them. Especially if it’s beyond their control. Nevertheless, it feels good to know that there’s God who’s ready enough to accept our flaws and who will always ready enough to heal us. Everytime. I repeat, everytime and everyday. It’s a secured assurance that he’ll literally catch us everytime we fall. I always love the idea of that. 

What I want to point out is that all of us will experience pain. Every sort of pain. Physically, emotionally, mentally. We’ll go through all that phases of our lives because we are humans, whether we like it or not, each of us will hurt each other (aware or not). As what Bob Marley said, you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.



But the sure thing about pain is that it doesn’t last long. It’s temporary. Temporary for the simple reason that everything heals. Everything will heal and all things takes time. You’re currently hurting right now but it doesn’t mean that it will stay there forever. Yes, maybe, it will leave a mark, a scar that will give you enough reason to give up in love, in life, in everything. But, mind you, if you look life in a different perspective, you will see silverlining in every pain you will experience. It will not just make you strong but when you experienced, feel deeply, appreciate every pain in your heart, you will realise how much you have grown as a person. You become an elastic band, you develop resilience towards life. You have that new found understanding about life that not all things you’ve planned goes along your way. And you have to be more patient and forgiving about it, to yourself and others because that’s the only thing you can learn about life. 

Let me share to you one of my favourite line from my favourite movie A Walk to Remember, “without suffering there will be no compassion”. Suffering is expected, a part of being a human being, but what you get from suffering, ‘compassion’ is something incredible. You developed compassion towards other people because you feel the pain they’re experiencing (because it already happened to you). It grows in you and comes naturally to you. 

So I repeat, whatever pain you’re experiencing right now, always remember that everything heals. And always carry with you the lesson you learned from that, and that will make your life from ordinary to naturally extraordinary because you choose your life. You choose to let pain change you, for the better. 🌿

P.S.: While writing this, I’m not currently hurting inside. It’s just that the idea just pop in my mind and I feel the urge to write this. 

“Not everyone has a heart like yours.”

I heard/seen this quote more often nowadays.

And…

I kind of get this right now. Before, I always question myself why humans act in such a way that conform to them, base on how they would respond with the way they’re being treated by others. And it always saddens me that there are people who just love the idea of taking advantage of kind souls.

And you’re blessed enough if you encounter people who are naturally kindhearted.

But, I also accepted the idea that not everyone in this whole white world (or I mean in this technicolor world) will have a heart like mine. Not that I say I am 100% kind-ish person but I like the idea of treating others fairly, the exact words are, ‘gusto kong ipafeel that there’s someone out there na kusangloob na tumulong, na magbigay pansin. Kasi madalas, masyado tayong nakafocus sa sarili nating mundo na nakakalimutan nating may mga tao na pala tayo nasasaktan.’ I don’t want to be that person. Never. As in.

And then there’s that saying that if you’re good to me, I will treat you right. If you done anything bad to me, I will also do something bad to you. In short, revenge. I really hate that concept. I know, it’s their pride telling them that they’ve been hurt or treated bad that’s why they would also do something to hurt that person back. I think it is immature and at the same time it’s plain selfishness because it will just worsen the situation. That’s when I also realised that friendship, may it be long or short term, will automatically crashed/broken when pride is highlighted and compromising is not even considered. Love is no longer there.

And I just want to continue what I have started. Wow, akala mo naman kung anong sinimulan ni Ateng. But seriously, if there’s only one thing I want me to be remembered by people, is how much I’ve made an impact in their lives. I like the idea of it. That they remember me because I am kind and because of me they become a better person, not because I am pretty (I know I’m not, this one is just completely joke) or because I have a good job (again, this is not true and this is just example). In short, I don’t want to be remember as someone superficial. I always want to be remember as someone who has heart on everything. Big or small.

So here are my little bits of realization about this topic:

Not everyone will get along with you and it’s okay. Not everyone will get your personality because it is accepted only by few. Not everyone will understand that helping others makes you feel good about yourself, so continue doing so. Not everyone will have a heart ready to listen to people’s stories, continue still. Not everyone will be like you and if you ever find souls that completely jinks with your attitude and personality, keep them because they’re so rare like diamonds. Hard to find but last forever.

And lastly, continue to infect others with your beautiful soul, you may never know who you’re inspiring.

I will leave you with this quote by John Green, “I will get forgotten, but the stories will last. And so we all matter—maybe less than a lot, but always more than none.”

🌿

Books and Someone

Books always gives me comfort and satisfaction whenever I feel sad or depressed, or anything that I feel. And sometimes, I prefer the company of books than humans, which introverts can highly relate to.

Well actually we are all books, waiting to be read, waiting to be appreciated. And then we grow up, we experienced things, we create things, we learned things that adds up to our own story, to our book. And then our figurative heart starts to appreciate another human being, another book, and then we imagine ourselves also soaking into that book. That’s also when we learned that we just need someone who will get us, who will understand us. We really don’t want to be that ‘best selling book’ everybody talks about but we just want to be seen and feel deeply by that one single person who will appreciate what we have to offer, who we really are.

So basically this post is all about linking books romantically (yes, I’m very much of a weirdo and I’m proud to be one, and why does I need to explain myself, lol) and I get this inspiration from a quote I posted on Instagram years ago. So here it goes:

Someday someone will read every pages of your very own book. Someday someone would pick you up on a bookstore and won’t stop reading your story. Even though you’re not like those beautifully made book but then, that someone would read your book description and would be curious, and ends up buying you, or I mean reading you. And he will understand, he will understand everything about you. He will not just fold pages that interest him the most but he will read every single pages of you, may it be good or bad. He’ll be like those passionate readers who is consume with a book that he carries it wherever he goes and loves to learn more about you. He will not be the others who thinks appearance matters, he’ll think that reading you is like reading The Little Prince, books that inspires him to be better and to see life in a different perspective. He’ll swim in the depths of your soul and actually swim with you, in other words, he will understand you in a deeper and different level. And you’ll be someone he’ll love reading all over and over again and will never get tired. Everytime he read about you, it’s feels the same way. So please never ever think that you’re not going to be someone’s book because someday, someone will understand you and will keep you forever.

A book someone will take good care of. For how long?

Forever.

Beach: to connect and reconnect

Working away from home is hard and it’s even harder for me because I just miss the beach so much. Not only the foods that I always crave for, cheap but delicious pork barbeques, freshly cooked oysters, sweet squids filled with tomatoes, blue marlin sinigang and the ever delicious diwal soup. And then with some soft local songs with the ocean breeze caressing our well being, I just couldn’t ask for moments like that. I’m currently missing that now.

The beach has always been and forever will be a part of my weird life. Back when I was a child, I always felt ecstatic when my parents would say, ‘We’ll go the beach! Prepare your things.” Those magical words are enough to put us on a good mood for the rest of day and that also means putting ourselves on charcoal-like skins, which we don’t really care actually. That’s the perks of being a child because we don’t really care how we look afterwards but how we will enjoy ourselves, how we feel deep down inside. Walking and running barefoot on the sands, feeling the waves massaging our tiresome feet, seeing different kinds of shells and bringing it home, writing random names on the sand (and even childhood crush, yes very much guilty) Those little things sums up my idea of a perfect and simple beach life.

And then years comes by so fast and suddenly I realized I am no longer a child, that I am close enough of being an adult. Which make it a lot scary just thinking about it. Well that makes me appreciate the beach even more. Not that I go there to swim, I go there to think about many things in life. With my best friend. We usually talk about life, our future, our chaos, our fears, even our future with our soon to be lovers (which are all pure imagination) and anything and everything that no other human being can ignite those kind of conversations, wonderfully weird but also deep and sensible, only with my best friend.  I just love those moments, those random but content worthy kind of conversations will always be my thing. The beach had seen it all. My accomplishment. My triumphs. My sadness. My disappointments. And all the other good and not so good things that had happened to me and as well as that of my best friend. I’m just thankful to God for creating the beach, not only because it is perfect for an instagram worthy shot or a perfect cover photo for Facebook (though it is currently my cover photo, ooops) but because it will make you feel things, it will make you think things. Deeper than the sea itself. And I think there’s nothing more loveable than that.

 It makes you humble but also strong, passionate but soft, contented and full of hope, just like the endless flow of waves. Things I will not be tired thinking, especially right now that I am lying in bed, imagining that I can hear the sound of the waves even if I should be probably sleeping. But I’m just happy I am able to wrote what I feel inside.

I Dream of You if I Could Fall Asleep

I would pretend
That you exist

In some place

In some distance space


I will try to find you

On crowded places

And pretend to eat

But I’m actually looking for you


Wait for me,

Wait for me when I’m free

Wait for me when I could see

The things that ignites me 


Am I late, am I running late?

Are you already in some place

Where love is as real as you are to me? 

Hope is not true and I hope I can compliment you


I found a new song

Now my favorite 

The title is ‘If Only I’

And it says there ‘I dream of you if I could fall asleep’


I’m such an idealist

And one thing I like about it

Is I could think of all the things

I unapologetically like about you


Though I’ve never seen you

But my imagination is filled with my thoughts of you

Is that an acceptable reason

To love you even I didn’t met you yet?


How amazing our universe is

That we could someday meet

And we could share all the things

That made up our mind in the last forgotten years


Please be gentle, please be patient

In the world around you

Don’t forget to fall in love

Not only to people, but to things that makes you. 


Find your happiness

While I find mine

And someday let’s collide that

And makes it an undeniable euphoria

“This is only happening on my mind.” -If Only I, Jon McLaughlin